Programs, that's what we like to write,
I said programs, we stay up half the night
Writing programs, 'cause if you want a site
On the World-Wide Web you need a

Home page. Put the coolest stuff in
To your home page. Folks will say, "Hey, I've been
To your home page!" But before you begin
You must learn a whole new language.

You've got to code it in H T M L.
You've got to code it in H T M L.
It's a great little set of the neatest tools yet
For exploiting the Internet.
It's fun to code using H T M L.
It's fun to code using H T M L.
You can now interface with the whole human race
From your own niche in cyberspace.

Hot links from one site to the next,
You add hot links when you use hypertext.
So with hot links, stay cool, don't get perplexed.
Then to surf the web you must have

Netscape. That's the browser to use.
I said Netscape, it's all over the news.
So with Netscape, you'll be sure you can't lose.
But it all goes back to one thing...

You've got to code it in H T M L.
You've got to code it in H T M L.
It's a great little set of the neatest tools yet
For exploiting the Internet.
It's fun to code using H T M L.
It's fun to code using H T M L.
You can now interface with the whole human race
From your own niche in cyberspace.

Letters, use them all, A through Z.
Take those letters, like TCP/IP,
Add more letters: CGI, FTP.
And a U R L is like an

Address. You type, "HTTP
Colon slash slash", then add "W 3
Dot, et cet'ra", and eventually
You'll find you're a real web master!

Because you coded in H T M L.
Because you coded in H T M L.
It's a great little set of the neatest tools yet
For exploiting the Internet.
It's fun to code using H T M L.
It's fun to code using H T M L.
You can now interface with the whole human race
From your own niche in cyberspace.

H T M L ... H T M L ...

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

• KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
• PLATO: For the greater good.
• ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
• KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
• CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
• TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
• SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
• RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
• HYPOCHONDRIACS: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
• ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergies with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry- focused, and built upon a consistent,clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
• FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
• JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
• OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
• BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
• RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.
• ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
• COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

• Phone conversations last 30 seconds.
• You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes.
• A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
• Bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
• You can open all your own jars.
• Old friends don't give you grief if you've lost or gained weight.
• When clicking thru the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying.
• You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary" items with you everywhere you go.
• You can go to the bathroom alone.
• Your last name stays put.
• You can leave a hotel room bed unmade.
• You can kill your own food.
• The garage is all yours.
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment".
• You never have to clean the toilet.
• You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend.
• Your underwear costs $7.50 for a pack of 3.
• None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
• You don't have to shave below your neck.
• You don't have to curl up next to some big, hairy guy every night.
• If you're 34 and single, no one notices.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
• Flowers fix everything (or duct tape).
• You never have to worry about other's feelings.
• Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
• You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
• You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• You don't give a flip if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.
• You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy thinking "He must be mad at me".
• One mood, all the time.
• You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself to look like him.
• Same work........more pay.
• Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
• Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100 bucks.
• You don't care if someone is talking behind your back.
• You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's.
• If you retain water, it is in a canteen.
• The remote is yours and yours alone.
• You need not pretend you're "freshening up" when you go to the bathroom .
• If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't tell your friends you've changed.
• If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
• The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
• If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
• You think the idea of punting that small, ankle-biting dog is funny.